How To Embrace Your Chocolate, Sistah.

I just got an email from one of my blog readers telling me sometimes she doesn’t feel  confident with her dark complexion. She’s so very beautiful both inside and out and maybe 19 years old… so I am trying to figure out why would she be so concerned.  Beauty on the inside brings out beauty on the outside however. I am always humbled when I get emails from my readers that I inspire, but if you have low confidence because of your skin, you are going to have to work on your inner confidence FIRST and foremost. This mentality is forced down from the slave masters and from the media, sadly. Please don’t allow this to burden you from those who are still in mental slavery. They’re the losers! To judge someone for their complexion is insane- rather lightskin or darkskin.

I remember seeing this African model on MTV many years ago and she had a short bald hair cut. Many black people (our own people) would say she was unattractive while the other races praised her. However, when she walked the runway and spoke with confidence she appeared and seemed beautiful because she was beautiful from within. If she had any flaws, her inner beauty made her look super beautiful.

One thing I love to do is learn from the African models on Instagram and whenever I am traveling.. because they have amazing confidence and they embrace their feminism. When I’d travel to big cities, these ladies were full of confidence and always loved to dress up.

I admit, I am a stalker of Sedanase, Ghanan and Ethiopian models and I love being inspired by other women instead of being envious. LEARN AND EMBRACE! Most importanty, if you really want your dark skinned to be noticed and feel confident, the secret is to wear bright cool or bright warm colors. Another tip is to add a hint of cocoa butter oil to the skin or cheeks. This adds a certain glow to the skin. For some reason that is like seeing magic. Trust me! 

If I were darker, I’d probably wear bright colors all the time just because of how it draws attention to chocolate skin. Luckily, you don’t have to really worry about acne scars or wrinkles lol You just need to love being you and keep looking good and feeling confident. Hope this helps..
-ReNita XOXO 💕💋

Are You A Little Red Corvette? Fast and Easy?

After driving in the rain from my favorite place, Taco Bell 🌮, I smiled as I turned up the volumn knob on the radio. Prince’s song Little Red Corvette filled my ears as I imagined the icon singing with his guitar on stage. I was taken by surprise as I had a chance to actually understand the lyrics and the meaning. I mean, growing up I always assumed he was referring to a red Corvette but aha I was misled. Prince was symbolizing a fast woman being like a fast car. It dawned on me

Little red Corvette
Baby you’re much too fast
Little red Corvette
You need a love that’s gonna last

How many of you have been a little red Corvette or felt guilty of moving fast? lol It can be hard, especially when liking someone so soon. If you are looking for love, you are going to have to slow down and take it seriously. Serious means taking things slow. (refer to lyrics listed above lol ☝️)  Although sex is apart of human nature, we must know how to seperate the mind from the lower anatomy in the early stages of dating when seeking a loving relationship. Many daters were lucky to still marry the one after giving it up on the first night, but in most cases it isn’t a guarantee. You should always be careful to guard your heart. (and your health.)

Coming from a guy like Prince (who is as sexual as they come, bless his soul) he is even admitting that men want love from women who aren’t fast.  Sometimes women will become easy and fast when they think it’s a way to get a man to love them fast (because men are stereotyped as sex hungry) but actually the anticipation and sticking to your standards is what keeps them interested. (It makes you a challenge and challenges are more exciting and adventurous like a real little red corvette.)

Is Your Bae’s Actions Loud Or Muted?

I get so many emails from people I do tarot readings for asking me, Why is he doing this?Why is he doing that? Is he still into me? Honestly you don’t need a psychic to answer that question. The proof is right there. If someone is making you question them and you’re not getting clarity then just save yourself time, heal, keep to yourself. and inhale. exhale. move on. Step away.

It may seem hard to do but it’s all you can do for your sanity. If they want you then they will be there when you leave; if not then you have a clear answer. Some answers don’t need verbalism. Words can mean more if action is put behind them.

As an author, I believe actions and words should both go hand in hand. I am not my best at expressing myself with verbal words as I am with written words and my action. ACTIONS ARE IMPORTANT THOUGH! Even if a woman plays hard to get her actions of interest and being flirty is still there.

I think the longest it ever took me to move on from someone was probably 9 months.  I remember I wasted time and tears trying to figure them out and questioning myself. I can remember holding back on my dating life because I was still being hopeful for someone who portrayed little action for me. It was torture and pain and time wasted, which is why I think the smartest thing a confused person should do is move on or just take some space.. (before it gets worse and ruins your esteem.)  You’re in a confused rut trying to match someone’s actions with their words and it isn’t on the same wave length lol So hopefully you won’t torture yourself and blame yourself.

You deserve the same amount of energy in return as you put out. You will see how much easier it will be. You will find these 2 answers; either they’ll express their actions or they give you words to hang on to..like a puppet’s string..controlling you.

Each day is a new chapter and a new page to write. You’ll never know who you may meet or how better it could be. Don’t hold on to just figuring out. What are the actions saying?

 

 

Yes, But Are You Working On You Prior To A Relationship?

2010.. This is 24 year old me! 🙂 If I could re-live my 20s again and start over I would. I accomplished a lot, but I felt like I wasted time focusing on things/people that were less important. See, in your 20s, you’re suppose to be enjoying life and be stress free. You’re suppose to be planning the future, living in the present and learning/growing from the past.

Sure, I accomplished a lot in my 20s, but I wasn’t really living. I felt I would have been way ahead in my 20s had I not let things distract me. At this age, I had finally moved on from my 2005 sexual assault that occured in college at the age of 18. I was also 2 years free of self abuse.

I was happy in this photo because I was with my family, but behind this smile I was going home to in an unhealthy relationship. An unstable relationship where I was being taken for granted; giving my all for so little and putting myself last. I was half way into loving myself again, but little did I know I needed space and time to work on me. I needed to know what self worth meant along side of self love.

In order to do that, I needed balance after full recovery from my past. I didn’t start going in full effect of my self love journey until 2012. I had to end that unhealthy relationship to recover, build self love and understand self worth. After following that, I become a better version of myself; it is who I became today.

So before you enter into a new relationship or anything in 2020, make sure you have had enough time to work on you. It took me 7-9 years to be this much in love with myself. I have the strength of Wonder Woman! (*grabs super hero cape and soars into the air!🦸‍♀️)

Men See You How You SEE Yourself. So Work On You

If you want a man to treat you like a queen, I believe you must already see yourself as a queen and already see yourself as class. I am in my 30s and I didn’t realize this secret until my mid 20s. Lol I would be like, “why am I getting treated like I am less?” Because I was always so nice to give more than I was giving. In other words, “settling” and not realizing I was worthy. When people see you DON’T act worthy of yourself, they will feel they don’t have to put in much effort.

It’s all about how you treat yourself for them to know what kind of woman they are dealing with. You don’t even have to tell men what makes you happy sometimes, but it’s obvious by how you carry yourself.

If they offer you something you don’t want to do yet (for example, have sex on the first night and not go on a date) then you just have to go with your gut on how you truly feel, not his.

Going with your gut will get you further and more respect. More respect will give you better treatment, attention and better dates instead of booty calls. I try to preach this to women/young women all the time. If you settle for little then you will receive little in return.

If you know you want more in a relationship, then stop giving in to what you aren’t happy with. Let’s say he wants to you to meet him at his place for Netflix and chill, but deep down you want more than that. You want nice dinners, gifts and walks on the beach, meet his family, selfies and warm phone calls etc. However, you think telling him that will run him away so you settle for his way , right?

I believe if you put value on yourself then you’ll be respected more. Would you feel proud receiving a diamond if it were $20.00 or if it were $20,000.00? Immediatly, you wouldn’t care much about the diamond if the price was $15.00, but if you paid $20,000.00 for it then I’m sure you’d treat it like a child. You’d take extra care of it and would go crazy if something happened to it, right?

That is how I feel us women should see ourselves ….like something valuable and worthy. 💎 When we feel that way about who we are then others will too. Never settle to be treated like a $3.00 value meal when you’re a full course meal. You have so much to offer….you are NOT a snack.

ReNita XOXO 💋