How I WAKE Up My Skin With Self Care!

I am all about self care and as a woman I feel it’s in our birthright to ALWAYS enduldge in the method of pampering. Growing up, I’d see women walk in and out of the salons and their skin would be so flawless. I can remember admiring their beauty and hoping to treat myself the way they did one day.

So here I am now, this grown woman at the age of 34 who is probably the age those women were when I was that tomboyish little girl curious about beauty. I am now the self care addict.

How I pamper..

A friend of mine from Charleston mentioned a business that sells all natural self care products and I was like, “Girl, share the details!”

Goodoo Self Care is on my list of favorite shops on Etsy.com and honey, when I tell you that they have a virtual spa on their shop I’m not lying. I saw so many scrubs and facials to choose from. I immediatly added the Wake Up coffee scrub. (because now that I no longer induldge in the taste of coffee anymore against my pink taste buds 😭 my skin consumes it for me.). It wakes my skin up IMMEDIATLY; especially during the mornings when the weather is cold. HELLLLOOOO 🥶

Let’s face it, sometimes we can make a mess when making our home beauty products. I am glad that Goo Doo already has these items prepared and with a little more love. 💗 To check out their lovely shop, visit their Etsy shop listed below. Your skin will thank you! I know mine sure did

https://www.etsy.com/shop/goodooselfcare/

How To Embrace Your Chocolate, Sistah.

I just got an email from one of my blog readers telling me sometimes she doesn’t feel  confident with her dark complexion. She’s so very beautiful both inside and out and maybe 19 years old… so I am trying to figure out why would she be so concerned.  Beauty on the inside brings out beauty on the outside however. I am always humbled when I get emails from my readers that I inspire, but if you have low confidence because of your skin, you are going to have to work on your inner confidence FIRST and foremost. This mentality is forced down from the slave masters and from the media, sadly. Please don’t allow this to burden you from those who are still in mental slavery. They’re the losers! To judge someone for their complexion is insane- rather lightskin or darkskin.

I remember seeing this African model on MTV many years ago and she had a short bald hair cut. Many black people (our own people) would say she was unattractive while the other races praised her. However, when she walked the runway and spoke with confidence she appeared and seemed beautiful because she was beautiful from within. If she had any flaws, her inner beauty made her look super beautiful.

One thing I love to do is learn from the African models on Instagram and whenever I am traveling.. because they have amazing confidence and they embrace their feminism. When I’d travel to big cities, these ladies were full of confidence and always loved to dress up.

I admit, I am a stalker of Sedanase, Ghanan and Ethiopian models and I love being inspired by other women instead of being envious. LEARN AND EMBRACE! Most importanty, if you really want your dark skinned to be noticed and feel confident, the secret is to wear bright cool or bright warm colors. Another tip is to add a hint of cocoa butter oil to the skin or cheeks. This adds a certain glow to the skin. For some reason that is like seeing magic. Trust me! 

If I were darker, I’d probably wear bright colors all the time just because of how it draws attention to chocolate skin. Luckily, you don’t have to really worry about acne scars or wrinkles lol You just need to love being you and keep looking good and feeling confident. Hope this helps..
-ReNita XOXO 💕💋

Dress With Class If You Don’t Want To Attract Trash

Yes, crew! I have been a victim of this in my early 20s. I remember wondering why did I always attracted perverts or men that only wanted to try getting into my pants. Insert 20 something photo below. 👇

Can you believe I went on a date in the left photo dressed like that and expected to be treated like a queen? and then come back home complaining about how the guy was such a pervert or a creep? Thank goodness for wisdom and growth. Okay, I do believe in flaunting your curves and shape, but wearing a deep low cut with a mini skirt short as a shirt on a date does not scream BE MY MAN! It screams BE MY MAN FOR THE NIGHT! It screams, I’M HOT IN THE PANTS! Also even if a woman is dressed a bit risque (that’s a fancy word for extreme.) it doesn’t give a man the right to proceed in treating her with disrespect and perverted-ness.

A woman should be treated with respect and not be judged just from her appearance, but sadly the way you dress will give people the radar of what kind of person you are. I know, I hate believing that too, but it’s true. What isn’t fair that people automatically will assume your easy based off your body. 🤦‍♀️

Here are some photos below that will give men an example that you are looking for a long term from the get-go. You can still be sexy and classy and embrace your body without exploiting who you are.

It goes both ways, but this is referring to women that wonder why they attract men that only want to get in their pants. What’s the message you are sending? I’m not saying dress boring or un-sexy, dress how you want by all means, but if you want more respect you can combine sexiness with class by not exposing every of your ass. lol

Not being so desperate in conversations and thirsty so soon, even if you are dressed nice. When you are just getting to know someone, the early stages and first impressions counts so much for the outcome.

During my younger days I’d dress this way at times going out, but it would give the idea that I was easy when I wasn’t. I thought sexiness and a sexy body would give me a relationship and that my figure or showing skin would make the guys I want go crazier over me and fall in love with me. Man, did I have it all wrong. 🤦‍♀️😂 A lot of young women believe this as well, but a person does not fall in love based off your assets. lol Yes, it attracted men but they were attracted to me for the wrong reason and not for what I wanted. I knew I wanted more.

I was dressed like I wanted a fling when I didn’t. Was it because I thought my body was the way to a man’s heart? Did I lack the self love to dress with self respect when I seeked love from others? This is why they say you can’t truly receive true love if you don’t love yourself first. Sometimes women will hate hearing that and think it means boredom, but trust me, it will help you in the long run and improve your self worth.

If you are seeking love, you should let your goodies and sexual side be the surprise within. If you love to show the print of your vagina in tight pants, have cleavage as low as the south of the border and booty cheeks hanging out of shorts, go ahead. 🙅‍♀️ If you want someone to first get the impression that you are long-term, you are going to have to not be so openly sexually at first or dress so raw during the first few dates .

If you want to dress sexy or like an instagram baddie, it’s fun too and represents your confidence of coming out your shell, but going over the top with it will immediatly give others the impression that you are fast ( even if you aren’t.) There is classy feminine, classy sexy and sexy trashy; which one are you okay with? So if you don’t want to be judged as an easy target, add some class or else you’ll attract trash. I hope this helps.

Catepillars and Butterflies.

Here is a photo of me in 7th grade before I physically transformed and blossomed into a butterfly 🐛🦋 I also realized that people who were ugly on the inside can transform to inner beauty.

Remember when some of you all would call me all those rude names in the 7th grade and made fun of my weave ponytail? lol I admit, I was very much a tomboy and didn’t care about being pretty until my senior year of high school. I was just enjoying being a kid and wasn’t at my blossoming stage yet. So many girls my age moved so fast and I didn’t fit in. Many times I’d eat my lunch in the cafeteria bathroom so the bullies wouldn’t embarass me. 

At this age, my bullies didn’t know of other things I had going on in my life. Junior high was a living hell. Imagine getting bullied everyday about your hairstyles as soon as you got on the school bus and then being bullied in school by both girls and boys..then riding the school bus home to get bullied again. 🤦‍♀️ Sometimes when I’d go home, my dad argued so much if my grades were low or if I had gained weight. Just like the kids at school didn’t know I had things going on at home, my dad didn’t know I had things going at school.

My confidence had dropped low at the time because of people; but no matter what, I always remained sweet until I pushed to the limit lol  I find it funny, the same people that did me so wrong are asking for my advice today and my dad finally seems impressed with things I work hard for. I’m happy about that because it shows that people can change..The best advice I can give you is to treat others with kindness. I have this belief that being kind to other people and having a nice personality makes you all the more beautiful. Don’t be negative or dramatic in life.  Blessings will soon follow once you are kind to others. Don’t waste time awaiting revenge. Their karma sometimes will allow them to become better people. Working on yourself mentally and physically is the greatest transformation of all.. To transform into a butterfly, you must use this time to work on you in those areas. To win and to get there is to not focus on them showing their ugly side, they haven’t transformed yet either. Keep smiling. Keep moving.

-ReNita XOXO 💕

Are You A Little Red Corvette? Fast and Easy?

After driving in the rain from my favorite place, Taco Bell 🌮, I smiled as I turned up the volumn knob on the radio. Prince’s song Little Red Corvette filled my ears as I imagined the icon singing with his guitar on stage. I was taken by surprise as I had a chance to actually understand the lyrics and the meaning. I mean, growing up I always assumed he was referring to a red Corvette but aha I was misled. Prince was symbolizing a fast woman being like a fast car. It dawned on me

Little red Corvette
Baby you’re much too fast
Little red Corvette
You need a love that’s gonna last

How many of you have been a little red Corvette or felt guilty of moving fast? lol It can be hard, especially when liking someone so soon. If you are looking for love, you are going to have to slow down and take it seriously. Serious means taking things slow. (refer to lyrics listed above lol ☝️)  Although sex is apart of human nature, we must know how to seperate the mind from the lower anatomy in the early stages of dating when seeking a loving relationship. Many daters were lucky to still marry the one after giving it up on the first night, but in most cases it isn’t a guarantee. You should always be careful to guard your heart. (and your health.)

Coming from a guy like Prince (who is as sexual as they come, bless his soul) he is even admitting that men want love from women who aren’t fast.  Sometimes women will become easy and fast when they think it’s a way to get a man to love them fast (because men are stereotyped as sex hungry) but actually the anticipation and sticking to your standards is what keeps them interested. (It makes you a challenge and challenges are more exciting and adventurous like a real little red corvette.)

You See Their Rainbows,🌈 But Maybe They’ve Had Storms…. ⛈

Sometimes people will hate on you for no reason before they know your whole story. Lol WELL….I’m not perfect. My body was never as fit. My skin isn’t that perfect (I’m just a genius with how to do makeup lol) Sometimes I talk so fast you may not understand me but I love it.  I was never the person I am now. I went thru some deeeep hell during the ages 18-23 so I don’t even know how I survived. God and His angels had to have got me through so mucg.  If you hate on someone (or maybe throw shade) please stop and think for a second and maybe be happy for them. You may not even know what they had to go through before they got blessed. You may not know how many jobs turned them down before they got that promotion. Maybe they got their license late in life before they got a Camaro  *hint hint* You may not know what they been through before they got that wedding ring 
I heard this girl tell me, “Renita I don’t be seein how you do so much and look so good with all you have going on. You’re an author and you started some businesses.”

I was flattered but girl, I learned a lot. I’m a student of life but now I’m the teacher. For one, if you want to be happy in life you have to learn to be happy by depending on happiness with yourself…know thyself..then you can be happy with someone …bc it’s healthier that way.  Never feel like you can’t be happy UNLESS you have someone. Be happy to share your happiness WITH someone but already be happy and work on you.  If you want to be successful then you need a plan, you need effort and to follow through. Learn to save some money and be wise.

Love you, 🥰
Renita XOXO

Live It Like Lizzo! 💌

I’m a big Lizzo fan..I jam to Truth Hurts every weekend!!! I LOVE HER!! ❤ lol I wish I had more friends with her personality and coolness. She seems like someone I could hang out with and laugh with.

I see so many people say they wish they had her confidence like she can’t be confident because she’s a full figured woman lol I see it as normal because she loves herself and when you love yourself you’re confident no matter the body type. You’re so into yourself because you don’t limit yourself based off the judgement of others.
(You aren’t here to please them.)

There are many men who prefer only larger women. 10 years ago, I remember a guy cheated on me with a fuller sized girl and he was skinnier than I was lol So we need to stop thinking just because someone is a certain size that it means they can’t do or have what others can have…anyone can have confidence.

When it comes to health matters, however, I believe it should be taken seriously. No matter what, slim or fluffy, your confidence should already be there.

Inhale. Exhale. Just Stop. Just Breathe. 🧘‍♀️🌞🧘‍♀️

This is sooo me!

Yoga was great this morning. One of my favorite things to do. When I do yoga I don’t worry about anything else. It’s my happy place. I always feel like I’m in a spa; especially when I tap in my favorite chakra. Yoga gets me high (naturally lol) and it is just as good as coffee. *sips Starbucks ☕

The most important thing to do is to breatheeee. I see each breath as a gift. It’s amazing how we have been breathing since the day we were born and that our heart has been beating non stop since we were in the wombs of our mothers.

It’s ashame that people take life for granted. Today I encourage you to be thankful for air. Be thankful for life. Be thankful to have a mind that you can balance and relax.

Namaste 🧘‍♀️

Yes, But Are You Working On You Prior To A Relationship?

2010.. This is 24 year old me! 🙂 If I could re-live my 20s again and start over I would. I accomplished a lot, but I felt like I wasted time focusing on things/people that were less important. See, in your 20s, you’re suppose to be enjoying life and be stress free. You’re suppose to be planning the future, living in the present and learning/growing from the past.

Sure, I accomplished a lot in my 20s, but I wasn’t really living. I felt I would have been way ahead in my 20s had I not let things distract me. At this age, I had finally moved on from my 2005 sexual assault that occured in college at the age of 18. I was also 2 years free of self abuse.

I was happy in this photo because I was with my family, but behind this smile I was going home to in an unhealthy relationship. An unstable relationship where I was being taken for granted; giving my all for so little and putting myself last. I was half way into loving myself again, but little did I know I needed space and time to work on me. I needed to know what self worth meant along side of self love.

In order to do that, I needed balance after full recovery from my past. I didn’t start going in full effect of my self love journey until 2012. I had to end that unhealthy relationship to recover, build self love and understand self worth. After following that, I become a better version of myself; it is who I became today.

So before you enter into a new relationship or anything in 2020, make sure you have had enough time to work on you. It took me 7-9 years to be this much in love with myself. I have the strength of Wonder Woman! (*grabs super hero cape and soars into the air!🦸‍♀️)

Men See You How You SEE Yourself. So Work On You

If you want a man to treat you like a queen, I believe you must already see yourself as a queen and already see yourself as class. I am in my 30s and I didn’t realize this secret until my mid 20s. Lol I would be like, “why am I getting treated like I am less?” Because I was always so nice to give more than I was giving. In other words, “settling” and not realizing I was worthy. When people see you DON’T act worthy of yourself, they will feel they don’t have to put in much effort.

It’s all about how you treat yourself for them to know what kind of woman they are dealing with. You don’t even have to tell men what makes you happy sometimes, but it’s obvious by how you carry yourself.

If they offer you something you don’t want to do yet (for example, have sex on the first night and not go on a date) then you just have to go with your gut on how you truly feel, not his.

Going with your gut will get you further and more respect. More respect will give you better treatment, attention and better dates instead of booty calls. I try to preach this to women/young women all the time. If you settle for little then you will receive little in return.

If you know you want more in a relationship, then stop giving in to what you aren’t happy with. Let’s say he wants to you to meet him at his place for Netflix and chill, but deep down you want more than that. You want nice dinners, gifts and walks on the beach, meet his family, selfies and warm phone calls etc. However, you think telling him that will run him away so you settle for his way , right?

I believe if you put value on yourself then you’ll be respected more. Would you feel proud receiving a diamond if it were $20.00 or if it were $20,000.00? Immediatly, you wouldn’t care much about the diamond if the price was $15.00, but if you paid $20,000.00 for it then I’m sure you’d treat it like a child. You’d take extra care of it and would go crazy if something happened to it, right?

That is how I feel us women should see ourselves ….like something valuable and worthy. 💎 When we feel that way about who we are then others will too. Never settle to be treated like a $3.00 value meal when you’re a full course meal. You have so much to offer….you are NOT a snack.

ReNita XOXO 💋