8 Things I Learned From Facebook

Ahh facebook…the book that is an open book where people don’t say things to your face. (Insert thumbs up emoji here ____ 👍) During the year 2020, I had a total wake up call of re-evaluating myself.

When I say re-evaluate, I had to sit back and observe. So over the year, I have learned what this creepy website has taught me over the years whilst I reflect. Here are the top 8 lessons I have learned in numerical order

1. People Put Too Much Of Their Life Out There. Yes, by all means share what you want, it’s a free country but sometimes I’ll see posts where people are giving a whole reality TV series of their life. Every rant, everything about their sex life and everything about everything. I used to be a victim of this as well, but I stopped. I stopped when I realized strangers knew more about me than people that knew me. It can be scary and sometimes dangerous.
2. HATERS Things that make you go hmmm. This taught me that haters will be on to you like a hawk… old enemies from high school and people who will try to throw shade in your posts or DMs lol NEXT!
3. DRAMA Of course, when facebook asks what’s on your mind it’s an entrance for trouble. When you share your opinions that others don’t agree with this stirs up a whole lot of chaos hence why I never go that route. Phew. Ever notice if you share some bad news you get more reactions than you do with good news? People who barely interact with you suddenly come out of nowhere. Where you been hiding? 😂
4. Unfriended For No Reason What’s confusing is that I have had classmates I grew up with, friends and family I thought I were cool with suddenly unfriend me. I didn’t understand why because I never post anything negative etc. I think sometimes people have to unfriend you due to jealousy and that can be sad.
5. Copycats I admit, I am flattered a lot but there are people that will study you just to take your ideas. Hence, I don’t tell my plans anymore.
6. They Won’t Hit That Like Button Or Show Support I get a lot of support on my books, blogs and business from strangers than I do from people I know, believe it or not. It’s weird, I’ll get up to 1000 story views, but under 20 likes…makes me wonder if some of the people on my page are really there because they like me or just to get details to talk about me and not to me.
7. Some Married Men/ Unsingle Men Stay In Your Inbox Yeah, I don’t have to explain this one, but I’m like WHY?!!! 🙅‍♀️
8. Just To Brag and Show Off….. When I found out that some people will actually use facebook to brag for an ego boost my eyes widened. I admit, sometimes I share my good news but some good news I like to keep to myself. There are people who use it just to brag for relief and validation. When it gets to that point you have to ask yourself are you depending on others for your happiness?

So there you have it. I don’t use facebook deeply for some of the things I used to. Instagram seems to make it easier with privacy, but Facebook is good for keeping up with some things and sharing the positive aspects of my life.

Use it with caution!!! It’s like the tree of good and evil 😂

How To Embrace Your Chocolate, Sistah.

I just got an email from one of my blog readers telling me sometimes she doesn’t feel  confident with her dark complexion. She’s so very beautiful both inside and out and maybe 19 years old… so I am trying to figure out why would she be so concerned.  Beauty on the inside brings out beauty on the outside however. I am always humbled when I get emails from my readers that I inspire, but if you have low confidence because of your skin, you are going to have to work on your inner confidence FIRST and foremost. This mentality is forced down from the slave masters and from the media, sadly. Please don’t allow this to burden you from those who are still in mental slavery. They’re the losers! To judge someone for their complexion is insane- rather lightskin or darkskin.

I remember seeing this African model on MTV many years ago and she had a short bald hair cut. Many black people (our own people) would say she was unattractive while the other races praised her. However, when she walked the runway and spoke with confidence she appeared and seemed beautiful because she was beautiful from within. If she had any flaws, her inner beauty made her look super beautiful.

One thing I love to do is learn from the African models on Instagram and whenever I am traveling.. because they have amazing confidence and they embrace their feminism. When I’d travel to big cities, these ladies were full of confidence and always loved to dress up.

I admit, I am a stalker of Sedanase, Ghanan and Ethiopian models and I love being inspired by other women instead of being envious. LEARN AND EMBRACE! Most importanty, if you really want your dark skinned to be noticed and feel confident, the secret is to wear bright cool or bright warm colors. Another tip is to add a hint of cocoa butter oil to the skin or cheeks. This adds a certain glow to the skin. For some reason that is like seeing magic. Trust me! 

If I were darker, I’d probably wear bright colors all the time just because of how it draws attention to chocolate skin. Luckily, you don’t have to really worry about acne scars or wrinkles lol You just need to love being you and keep looking good and feeling confident. Hope this helps..
-ReNita XOXO 💕💋

Catepillars and Butterflies.

Here is a photo of me in 7th grade before I physically transformed and blossomed into a butterfly 🐛🦋 I also realized that people who were ugly on the inside can transform to inner beauty.

Remember when some of you all would call me all those rude names in the 7th grade and made fun of my weave ponytail? lol I admit, I was very much a tomboy and didn’t care about being pretty until my senior year of high school. I was just enjoying being a kid and wasn’t at my blossoming stage yet. So many girls my age moved so fast and I didn’t fit in. Many times I’d eat my lunch in the cafeteria bathroom so the bullies wouldn’t embarass me. 

At this age, my bullies didn’t know of other things I had going on in my life. Junior high was a living hell. Imagine getting bullied everyday about your hairstyles as soon as you got on the school bus and then being bullied in school by both girls and boys..then riding the school bus home to get bullied again. 🤦‍♀️ Sometimes when I’d go home, my dad argued so much if my grades were low or if I had gained weight. Just like the kids at school didn’t know I had things going on at home, my dad didn’t know I had things going at school.

My confidence had dropped low at the time because of people; but no matter what, I always remained sweet until I pushed to the limit lol  I find it funny, the same people that did me so wrong are asking for my advice today and my dad finally seems impressed with things I work hard for. I’m happy about that because it shows that people can change..The best advice I can give you is to treat others with kindness. I have this belief that being kind to other people and having a nice personality makes you all the more beautiful. Don’t be negative or dramatic in life.  Blessings will soon follow once you are kind to others. Don’t waste time awaiting revenge. Their karma sometimes will allow them to become better people. Working on yourself mentally and physically is the greatest transformation of all.. To transform into a butterfly, you must use this time to work on you in those areas. To win and to get there is to not focus on them showing their ugly side, they haven’t transformed yet either. Keep smiling. Keep moving.

-ReNita XOXO 💕