He’s Just Not That Into You..or He’s Just That Intimidated, Sis!

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Hey you. Yeah you. The one sobbing and crying constantly checking your phone to see if you have a miss call or a text. You’ve already sent him 3 messages before he has even responded. You’re checking his page constantly and seeing whose photos he’s liking as you dwell in self pity. Okay. STOP IT! Pull yourself together and let it go like Elsa.. (Insert cheesy song from Disney’s Frozen here __________.)

Women go into overthinking mode and an ego reduction once they feel a guy has lost interest or has pulled away. Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s him, maybe it’s you or…maybe he’s just intimadated. Have you ever thought of that? Men are very nervous at times and they don’t show it. I have had this happened to me in 2011; especially where some guys used to ghost me. The weird thing was that they even told me they felt intimadated because I was beautiful or was an author.

Total opposite and confusing right? 🙄

It seems backwards, right? Yes I know. I would think that being beautiful and doing something that showcased my talent wasn’t anything to make anyone scared; but sometimes it does. (For the scary guys who were afraid of chances, yeah.) So before you rest your head on your tear soaked pillow self sabotaging yourself, keep in mind that THAT could be a reason as to why your knight in shining armour ghosted you. (or has pulled away.) Sometimes people have things going on in their lives, but if they wanted you then they will make sure they show their existence sometimes….in fear of losing you.

If he ghosted you due to lack of interest, he could have been doing you a favor. You did nothing, but sometimes the chemistry may not be there and the universe designs it. (It’s called mutual connection.)

Not to mention that sometimes you are blinded by illusions (believing he is amazing when he hasn’t even done amazing things for you; so instead you are just imagining what it would be like and falling for a daydream. Women do this all the time when they get too excited too soon and it leads to getting hurt. Be careful..move step by step…that’s why they call it ‘building a relationship.)

When you are in the early stage don’t start daydreaming about the future yet. If he was never in a relationship with you then save your energy for someone that’s worth deserving of it. If he treats you like an option and never a priority then you have an answer. Save yourself some time and use this time to heal and regrow…regrow like green grass. (Just watch out for snakes 😚🐍)

To Be Envied Or Inspire..

To be envied or to inspire??..that is the question. I had a girl told me she used to be jealous of me and I was a bit surprised.. Honestly I’d rather inspire people than to be envied. If people are envious then you have no friends and I only have a few…. always wanted a big group of positive girlfriends. I feel if we inspire others then there will be no room for envy because people will be motivated to become their best self. Your energy will light theirs up just from yours being bright.  Ever been around certain people that just made you feel an energy boost just from being around them? That’s what you should feel and who you should be around.

If not, be the one to help them feel positive by first working on yourself and becoming your greatest version.

When I’d find out someone felt that way I’d be like “There is no need to be if you knew all the sad things I overcame.” I am thankful I can use that to motivate others. God kept me and I am still here.  Be thankful. Smile. Love. Focus on what’s best for you in this life you have. 🙃🌞 Life is too short. Great memories last longer. Make them.

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http://www.renitaxoxo.com

Confessions Of A Coffee Addict.. ☕(replacing coffee ..ugghh..the pain)

Ditching my coffee for organic smoothies starting Tuesday. Let’s see if I can do this for 30 days or forever!! *screams like a guitarist from a metal hair band 😱.. Although I will miss the roasting smell of coffee brewing in the mornings☕ followed by milky cream of hazelnut added. 🤦‍♀️ I crave just from the thought of it, but it’s a habit I am trying to cut out. 😂
       (Sigh 😌) The urge for coffee started when an aunt of mine was visiting. See, every morning I’d wake up to the smell of her brewing Maxwell House or Folgers. 🤨 The scent tempted me.  Curious and confused on why so many Americans take a leap to this stimulant, I tried it. (only to become an addict.) Since I am already a health nut and I workout 5 days a week, my good angel😇 on my right shoulder said, “Why not just replace coffee with healthy smoothies in the morning?” However, my devil angel 😈on my left shoulder laughed and said, “Girl, you know you need your coffee! You’re an author! Coffee helps with your imagination.”
I rolled my eyes. I sighed. Annoyed.
I feel like it is a healthy mental goal to complete and I’m ready to give it a try.
(A try to start my mornings dry, right?🤦‍♀️😂)
Not really! Mind you I will be pouring a refreshing smoothie into my Starbucks mug and savoring the moment. *sticks nose in the air.* Now EXCUSEE me as I add a variety of fruits and veggies for smoothie blends into the cart of my online shopping app. 😊
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You See Their Rainbows,🌈 But Maybe They’ve Had Storms…. ⛈

Sometimes people will hate on you for no reason before they know your whole story. Lol WELL….I’m not perfect. My body was never as fit. My skin isn’t that perfect (I’m just a genius with how to do makeup lol) Sometimes I talk so fast you may not understand me but I love it.  I was never the person I am now. I went thru some deeeep hell during the ages 18-23 so I don’t even know how I survived. God and His angels had to have got me through so mucg.  If you hate on someone (or maybe throw shade) please stop and think for a second and maybe be happy for them. You may not even know what they had to go through before they got blessed. You may not know how many jobs turned them down before they got that promotion. Maybe they got their license late in life before they got a Camaro  *hint hint* You may not know what they been through before they got that wedding ring 
I heard this girl tell me, “Renita I don’t be seein how you do so much and look so good with all you have going on. You’re an author and you started some businesses.”

I was flattered but girl, I learned a lot. I’m a student of life but now I’m the teacher. For one, if you want to be happy in life you have to learn to be happy by depending on happiness with yourself…know thyself..then you can be happy with someone …bc it’s healthier that way.  Never feel like you can’t be happy UNLESS you have someone. Be happy to share your happiness WITH someone but already be happy and work on you.  If you want to be successful then you need a plan, you need effort and to follow through. Learn to save some money and be wise.

Love you, 🥰
Renita XOXO

Live It Like Lizzo! 💌

I’m a big Lizzo fan..I jam to Truth Hurts every weekend!!! I LOVE HER!! ❤ lol I wish I had more friends with her personality and coolness. She seems like someone I could hang out with and laugh with.

I see so many people say they wish they had her confidence like she can’t be confident because she’s a full figured woman lol I see it as normal because she loves herself and when you love yourself you’re confident no matter the body type. You’re so into yourself because you don’t limit yourself based off the judgement of others.
(You aren’t here to please them.)

There are many men who prefer only larger women. 10 years ago, I remember a guy cheated on me with a fuller sized girl and he was skinnier than I was lol So we need to stop thinking just because someone is a certain size that it means they can’t do or have what others can have…anyone can have confidence.

When it comes to health matters, however, I believe it should be taken seriously. No matter what, slim or fluffy, your confidence should already be there.

Not Everyone Is Rude..There Are Still Some Good People Here…

I usually start my mornings with yoga and it helps to keep me looking forward to positive outlooks. It has been so long since I’ve encountered anything with negative people that I forgot. I usually have a brain that keeps me in my own little world. Well, I encountered two strangers so far this year who seemed very rude in professional business. You would think professionals would have more respect, but this is just a wake up call. Luckily, I am a strong person that I overlook their funky attitudes. So the other day as I was paying my internet bill, I didn’t have my bill on hand. I asked to pay by just giving my name (as usual.)

There was a new cashier at the drive-thru window. Instead of her kindly smiling and saying, ‘Sure we can look you up that way.” the cashier had a grumpy and stern look on her cold pale face. (Hence the eye roll she gave me and the exaggerated sigh.) “We would like for you to have your bill with you.” she snapped. I smiled (as usual) and explained to her that I usually pay by just giving my name and address. Although she spoke over me and didn’t tell me, “Thank you have a nice day.” I did what I came to do, paid my bill and I drove off with a smile.

As I was driving on the highway, I realized how rude she seemed and how would I never use customer service with that behavior. She was new so I decided to not take it out on her lol She probably was having a rough day. We never know what these rude type of people are going through already. This is why we should always remember that when we come across people like that. It is important to be nice to people and that is something I learned as a child. Sadly, not many people see things that way and this is why so much goes on the world today. Perhaps I am just a hippie. lol

Another encounter happened this morning where I came across someone’s negative mood. haha! There was a nice house I saw for rent and I know that my mom was interested in searching for another place with a bigger yard. Well she told me to call this house she saw and I called for her. An elderly man answered the phone with an attitude. I repeated what he said and he shouted into the phone. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID!” he shouted, making me feel like a child in a mean teacher’s classroom.😂 I raised an eyebrow. I asked him a question and he told me he couldn’t understand what I said because I talked too fast and that’s he’s old. lol He was rude so I hung up on him. (which was rude as well lol)

I asked the good lord to forgive me for hanging up on the old man lol. I wasn’t about to let the negative actions of other people control my actions for the day. This happens so much in this world, especially early in the mornings.

Sometimes the way other people come across to you can effect your day (if you aren’t strong enough.) My feelings were about 1% hurt, but I managed to suck it up right after and continued on with my day. A voice spoke to me saying, never get upset at other people for their actions. Sometimes these people are grumpy because they are going through hard times; after all, they were strangers.

True. The cashier probably was having a stressful life at home (perhaps a cheating husband etc) or the old man probably was a grumpy for dealing with the pains of aging. (He did mention that he was hard of hearing lol)

As I went in Wal-Mart to get a bag of sugar for the pie my mom planned to bake, a sweet woman walked by with a smile and spoke to me. I’m usually friendly with people I don’t know so this time someone actually spoke to me out of kindness. I was wondering if I knew her personally, but I didn’t.

She was just being a friendly stranger who told me hello with a bright smile. I returned the smile and the acknowledgment to her as well. A simple act of kindness exchanged with a stranger had lightened up my mood, making me remember that not everyone is rude. (There are still some good people here. )

Seperate The Body From The Mind* Words From A Sapiosexual.*


I love my body, but my body and my mind are 2 different things. lol One is just flesh and one is who I am. I have only fell my hardest for one or two men that never seemed like they were just trying to date my shell (my body) The slower you try not the rush the more I build attraction for you. My shell is something that will turn into ashes one day..I just make sure I take care of it to the upmost while I am alive. My soul is soooo amazing and interesting. 🙂 It’s also why I’m so picky. I am a sapiosexual. If you are attractive, I have to be even more attracted to your mind. I fall for mental connection. You want me for what’s inside or you want me for what’s both on the inside and the out? ❤

Yes, But Are You Working On You Prior To A Relationship?

2010.. This is 24 year old me! 🙂 If I could re-live my 20s again and start over I would. I accomplished a lot, but I felt like I wasted time focusing on things/people that were less important. See, in your 20s, you’re suppose to be enjoying life and be stress free. You’re suppose to be planning the future, living in the present and learning/growing from the past.

Sure, I accomplished a lot in my 20s, but I wasn’t really living. I felt I would have been way ahead in my 20s had I not let things distract me. At this age, I had finally moved on from my 2005 sexual assault that occured in college at the age of 18. I was also 2 years free of self abuse.

I was happy in this photo because I was with my family, but behind this smile I was going home to in an unhealthy relationship. An unstable relationship where I was being taken for granted; giving my all for so little and putting myself last. I was half way into loving myself again, but little did I know I needed space and time to work on me. I needed to know what self worth meant along side of self love.

In order to do that, I needed balance after full recovery from my past. I didn’t start going in full effect of my self love journey until 2012. I had to end that unhealthy relationship to recover, build self love and understand self worth. After following that, I become a better version of myself; it is who I became today.

So before you enter into a new relationship or anything in 2020, make sure you have had enough time to work on you. It took me 7-9 years to be this much in love with myself. I have the strength of Wonder Woman! (*grabs super hero cape and soars into the air!🦸‍♀️)

Crime and Violence In These Lake City Streets! But Where Is Our Meteor Man?

Thought I heard what was fireworks yesterday  from the other side of town near the hood. Sad thing is I was partially raised behind Independence Ave. My dog was shaking and he ran under the bed when we heard the loud noise.

I heard 6 fire works popping loud (POP! POP! POP! CLACK! CLACK! CLACK! 💥💥💥) but found out later it was like 6 gun shots. Sheesh. No wonder yesterday I stayed in bed and had a vision of people fighting on Christmas.

Ya’ll be safe. Going out ain’t too safe these days. I can only imagine how his family must feel every Christmas now. Smh.

There needs to be more attention on gun violence, gangs and crime. This is the question I ask, but where is Meteor Man? (The black super hero from the early 90s that ended street crime and gang violence.) How did we get to this?

You don’t have to have a super hero cape to speak up on this issue or make an impact on the community. Be a role model. Educate. Get active and take action. Lives can be changed and so can the minds and views of others.

Still Searching For My Chic Tribe In 2020! I NEED SOME GIRLFRIENDS!!!!! 😂

I love making friends with women when I travel. I always give a compliment and we’ll hit it off and then I’ll be like, why didn’t I ask for her facebook ? Lol (then I don’t see them anymore.) Sometimes it can be hard to find friends with some women, especially when society makes them think we need to compete. No offense or not to sound cocky, but if you are an attractive female it makes it even hard. If you have a diverse personality it can be hard too. I am a little of both. I am very careful and extra nice when I try to make friends.

Some women make it seem like because I like to get dolled up, that it means I must think I’m better. Nah. I am not that way at all, but we can both feel like we are magical. 😊 We should feel like a powerful group when we get together instead.

We can encourage each other with inspiration and motivation to make each other better. I am not interested in that competition or envy stuff. I am never the envious or competitive type, but I would find it hard to fit in. You can’t be friends if you seek or worry on that. I don’t want that at all.

Honestly, I just want to find my chic tribe. I want a bond with like minded women like myself. No drama. No competition. Just a good time. Good laughs and discussing the topic of men over good drinks. 🍸🍸😂

If you have a man problem, I want our group of friends to come over so you won’t be up crying all night. (with a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. 😂)

To say I am popular on social media, I only have 2 close friends in reality that I talk to. One is married with a family of her own and one lives with his girlfriend in Miami. The married friend is like a sister to me and I wish I could make her into a clone because we have been best friends since college. (but she lives an hour and a half away in Charleston. 😫 )

I have always felt more more like myself talking to the same energy as hers or with guy friends (or feminine gay men lol) So I’m kind of just a loner waiting on building my clique. 😂 I am into so many different things so I hope others accept that and click with my diverse side. Lol

I know finding more friends is an insecurity I must work on. This is one of my goals for 2020; to find some real life friends that click with me. It can seem hard, but I am still looking to find my girls. I want some friends that love to go to the gym, do 5ks, have a wine and painting girls night out, go see movies, comedy shows. I know they exist lol