How I WAKE Up My Skin With Self Care!

I am all about self care and as a woman I feel it’s in our birthright to ALWAYS enduldge in the method of pampering. Growing up, I’d see women walk in and out of the salons and their skin would be so flawless. I can remember admiring their beauty and hoping to treat myself the way they did one day.

So here I am now, this grown woman at the age of 34 who is probably the age those women were when I was that tomboyish little girl curious about beauty. I am now the self care addict.

How I pamper..

A friend of mine from Charleston mentioned a business that sells all natural self care products and I was like, “Girl, share the details!”

Goodoo Self Care is on my list of favorite shops on Etsy.com and honey, when I tell you that they have a virtual spa on their shop I’m not lying. I saw so many scrubs and facials to choose from. I immediatly added the Wake Up coffee scrub. (because now that I no longer induldge in the taste of coffee anymore against my pink taste buds 😭 my skin consumes it for me.). It wakes my skin up IMMEDIATLY; especially during the mornings when the weather is cold. HELLLLOOOO πŸ₯Ά

Let’s face it, sometimes we can make a mess when making our home beauty products. I am glad that Goo Doo already has these items prepared and with a little more love. πŸ’— To check out their lovely shop, visit their Etsy shop listed below. Your skin will thank you! I know mine sure did

https://www.etsy.com/shop/goodooselfcare/

How To Embrace Your Chocolate, Sistah.

I just got an email from one of my blog readers telling me sometimes she doesn’t feel  confident with her dark complexion. She’s so very beautiful both inside and out and maybe 19 years old… so I am trying to figure out why would she be so concerned.  Beauty on the inside brings out beauty on the outside however. I am always humbled when I get emails from my readers that I inspire, but if you have low confidence because of your skin, you are going to have to work on your inner confidence FIRST and foremost. This mentality is forced down from the slave masters and from the media, sadly. Please don’t allow this to burden you from those who are still in mental slavery. They’re the losers! To judge someone for their complexion is insane- rather lightskin or darkskin.

Alek Wek -【Biography】Age, Net Worth, Height, In Relation, Nationality

I remember seeing this African model on MTV many years ago and she had a short bald hair cut. Many black people (our own people) would say she was unattractive while the other races praised her. However, when she walked the runway and spoke with confidence she appeared and seemed beautiful because she was beautiful from within. If she had any flaws, her inner beauty made her look super beautiful.

One thing I love to do is learn from the African models on Instagram and whenever I am traveling.. because they have amazing confidence and they embrace their feminism. When I’d travel to big cities, these ladies were full of confidence and always loved to dress up.

I admit, I am a stalker of Sedanase, Ghanan and Ethiopian models and I love being inspired by other women instead of being envious. LEARN AND EMBRACE! Most importanty, if you really want your dark skinned to be noticed and feel confident, the secret is to wear bright cool or bright warm colors. Another tip is to add a hint of cocoa butter oil to the skin or cheeks. This adds a certain glow to the skin. For some reason that is like seeing magic. Trust me! 

If I were darker, I’d probably wear bright colors all the time just because of how it draws attention to chocolate skin. Luckily, you don’t have to really worry about acne scars or wrinkles lol You just need to love being you and keep looking good and feeling confident. Hope this helps..
-ReNita XOXO πŸ’•πŸ’‹

Catepillars and Butterflies.

Here is a photo of me in 7th grade before I physically transformed and blossomed into a butterfly πŸ›πŸ¦‹ I also realized that people who were ugly on the inside can transform to inner beauty.

Remember when some of you all would call me all those rude names in the 7th grade and made fun of my weave ponytail? lol I admit, I was very much a tomboy and didn’t care about being pretty until my senior year of high school. I was just enjoying being a kid and wasn’t at my blossoming stage yet. So many girls my age moved so fast and I didn’t fit in. Many times I’d eat my lunch in the cafeteria bathroom so the bullies wouldn’t embarass me. 

At this age, my bullies didn’t know of other things I had going on in my life. Junior high was a living hell. Imagine getting bullied everyday about your hairstyles as soon as you got on the school bus and then being bullied in school by both girls and boys..then riding the school bus home to get bullied again. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ Sometimes when I’d go home, my dad argued so much if my grades were low or if I had gained weight. Just like the kids at school didn’t know I had things going on at home, my dad didn’t know I had things going at school.

My confidence had dropped low at the time because of people; but no matter what, I always remained sweet until I pushed to the limit lolΒ  I find it funny, the same people that did me so wrong are asking for my advice today and my dad finally seems impressed with things I work hard for. I’m happy about that because it shows that people can change..The best advice I can give you is to treat others with kindness. I have this belief that being kind to other people and having a nice personality makes you all the more beautiful. Don’t be negative or dramatic in life.Β  Blessings will soon follow once you are kind to others. Don’t waste time awaiting revenge. Their karma sometimes will allow them to become better people. Working on yourself mentally and physically is the greatest transformation of all.. To transform into a butterfly, you must use this time to work on you in those areas. To win and to get there is to not focus on them showing their ugly side, they haven’t transformed yet either. Keep smiling. Keep moving.

-ReNita XOXO πŸ’•

Live It Like Lizzo! πŸ’Œ

I’m a big Lizzo fan..I jam to Truth Hurts every weekend!!! I LOVE HER!! ❀ lol I wish I had more friends with her personality and coolness. She seems like someone I could hang out with and laugh with.

I see so many people say they wish they had her confidence like she can’t be confident because she’s a full figured woman lol I see it as normal because she loves herself and when you love yourself you’re confident no matter the body type. You’re so into yourself because you don’t limit yourself based off the judgement of others.
(You aren’t here to please them.)

There are many men who prefer only larger women. 10 years ago, I remember a guy cheated on me with a fuller sized girl and he was skinnier than I was lol So we need to stop thinking just because someone is a certain size that it means they can’t do or have what others can have…anyone can have confidence.

When it comes to health matters, however, I believe it should be taken seriously. No matter what, slim or fluffy, your confidence should already be there.

Men See You How You SEE Yourself. So Work On You

If you want a man to treat you like a queen, I believe you must already see yourself as a queen and already see yourself as class. I am in my 30s and I didn’t realize this secret until my mid 20s. Lol I would be like, “why am I getting treated like I am less?” Because I was always so nice to give more than I was giving. In other words, “settling” and not realizing I was worthy. When people see you DON’T act worthy of yourself, they will feel they don’t have to put in much effort.

It’s all about how you treat yourself for them to know what kind of woman they are dealing with. You don’t even have to tell men what makes you happy sometimes, but it’s obvious by how you carry yourself.

If they offer you something you don’t want to do yet (for example, have sex on the first night and not go on a date) then you just have to go with your gut on how you truly feel, not his.

Going with your gut will get you further and more respect. More respect will give you better treatment, attention and better dates instead of booty calls. I try to preach this to women/young women all the time. If you settle for little then you will receive little in return.

If you know you want more in a relationship, then stop giving in to what you aren’t happy with. Let’s say he wants to you to meet him at his place for Netflix and chill, but deep down you want more than that. You want nice dinners, gifts and walks on the beach, meet his family, selfies and warm phone calls etc. However, you think telling him that will run him away so you settle for his way , right?

I believe if you put value on yourself then you’ll be respected more. Would you feel proud receiving a diamond if it were $20.00 or if it were $20,000.00? Immediatly, you wouldn’t care much about the diamond if the price was $15.00, but if you paid $20,000.00 for it then I’m sure you’d treat it like a child. You’d take extra care of it and would go crazy if something happened to it, right?

That is how I feel us women should see ourselves ….like something valuable and worthy. πŸ’Ž When we feel that way about who we are then others will too. Never settle to be treated like a $3.00 value meal when you’re a full course meal. You have so much to offer….you are NOT a snack.

ReNita XOXO πŸ’‹

They Want To See You Lose..Why Give Up?

I went to bed early and here I am now, up at 10 minutes to 4am because my dog needed to tinkle and so did I. Before dawn, it dawned on me. I notice so many people give up on things in life and when they do, sometimes they get more reaction from others than if it were something positive. Why is that? I ask myself. Because some people (not all) will feel comfort in seeing the struggle of others. They actually use it as a reason to gossip about you and laugh if they are envious of you. As nasty as that sounds, it’s true. Whenever you complain about your life, just know that you are giving motivation to the haters. Seeking sympathy from the whole world only makes you seem weak. Sometimes people use the weakness from others as their strength.

If you started a goal and then gave up because your relationship didn’t work out, you are being controlled into losing. If you tell everyone how much you hate life instead of seeing the good in it, you are going to push the right people away and bring in the company of other miserable people. (Misery loves company.) They want to see you lose…why give up? Defeat the enemy with ambition in yourself and when you do, you will be glad at all you have accomplished.

-ReNita XOXO

Ladies, Start Your Self Love Journey: THIS IS MY STORY..THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM β€

Women always ask me how do I manage self love and confidence. Girl, it took me some years! πŸ™‚ Lol I was NEVER EVER as confident as I am today. I grew up as a energetic child always having fun and competing in pageants, school plays and played softball. I was a creative child who always received support from my family so that is where the root of my confidence started. This is why it’s important to support and encourage children so they can grow up always having a passion to acheive.

In junior high school, I would always get bullied and it would lower some of my confidence. This is why it’s important to be around positive or friendly people.

My REAL self love journey started in 2012 after surviving a 2005 sexual assault incident while in college; which would lead to self abuse in my early 20s. Although I would accomplish so many great things, it would steal so much of the confidence I grew up with. I would think it was impossiable to get it all back. So this is what I did. It took me 7 full years to recover from mental pain and then another 7 years to re build my self love. It took me 14 years to get to where I am today. :O

I am thankful that I am also able to inspire other women and preach about the importance of loving yourself and knowing yourself.Β  Just bc you say someone is beautiful and you might be hating on them, you don’t know their story. lol You don’t know what they went through. I believe some of the greatest people are the ones that survived the storms and did amazing things afterwards. Never let your trials defeat you. I challenge you to focus on repairing from your pain and then start a self love journey. ❀ Not everyone is perfect. Trust πŸ’― If I can do it, you can do it.
-ReNita XOXO πŸ’‹

So What If They Don’t Support You? Don’t Wait On Their Approval! KEEP GOING!

Sometimes I see my friends on social media acknowledge that no one supports them. While getting a positive boost and self fulfillment from others on our accomplishments is a good thing, we shouldn’t rely on it. I feel you shouldn’t rely on this action because it isn’t healthy. Some people don’t get support and then back out of something they have their hearts set on doing. This is confirmation that you should STILL keep going.

The longer you keep doing things, the support will come later because you get better and better. You will know who is true for you and who isn’t. Even if they don’t support you, they still can admire you and are inspired by you but are probably too jealous to let you see that lol (I know, right?) Sometimes people won’t support you, because they want you to lose. What do you do? YOU STILL KEEP PUSHING YOURSELF! Like, why determine the actions of others for your life?

The number one person that should be supporting you is yourself. Not many people have supported me or congratulated me on things I have done, but I STILL made it on top. As long as I know I did something GREAT for myself that’s all that matters. The praise from others will follow behind you if you keep going forward and looking ahead. That doesn’t mean you have to call them out about it or stop what you are doing.

You should be supporting yourself first of all and clap for yourself. If people aren’t supporting you, sometimes you should see it as a compliment that maybe they are jealous. Most of the time, people will support those they admire or support those they know. If they are jealous of you, they will be too intimidated to support you or too lazy to support you. Some people are having problems in their own life and are too unhappy to praise the blessings of others.

Waiting for their support is like waiting for their approval and when you wait for their approval you are under their control. Waiting for the support of others feels as though you want to impress them before impressing yourself. When you are supporting yourself first, you are at a point of self love and you will attract the right crowd that are true supporters and friends.

I have done many things in my life that are big accomplishments that I am proud of. Many people have supported and many people haven’t, but you have to keep going and be your own #1 support system.